Monday, August 16, 2010

Friendship and other things

Here it is Monday already. I'm just never quite ready for them for some reason. I'm dressed and ready to go to the gym and my head seems to be screwed on tight - so it's definitely a "go".

I want to talk about friends right now. And I don't mean friends in general - I do have so many friends and I am so thankful for that. I have some very dear friends back in Kansas. I also have high school friends and college friends, not to mention friends here in South Carolina.

But I'm talking about a close friend - a GOOD friend. I'm coming to realize that they are pretty hard to come by.

There have been so many opportunities down here to develop a close friendship - but nobody really ever takes the time. There are so many other agendas - so many other factors that get in the way.

So what am I really looking for?  Here are the qualities I would love to find in a close friend:
  • Someone who might call me at the drop of a hat to say good morning or "how are you doing?"
  • Someone who I could call at the drop of a hat and vent to - who would actually listen to me without starting in on their own issues
  • Someone who wants to do things with me, outside of the already scheduled activities that we're involved in such as water aerobics, mahjongg, work, small group etc.
  • Someone who wants to invest herself in a closer relationship/friendship - who can both listen carefully and speak freely, both with her heart open
  • Someone who is honest
  • Someone who might just randomly call to see if I want to go out for coffee
I wonder if my expectations are too high. I wonder if this kind of person only existed in high school or college and doesn't exist in the reality world. There seriously has to be women out there who desire the same thing.

This is not to take anything at all away from my husband - because all of these things exist with him. But sometimes, I just want a female friend. It's a little different - it's on a different level.

So why is this friendship so elusive? What makes it so difficult to pin down?

I'm not sure. A lot of my friends now are either retired or semi-retired and I would envision that they are looking for the same thing. Moving into a new neighborhood and being the new kid on the block is an issue - friendships already exist so therefore - well, there isn't room for one more. People are busy. Agendas and schedules are full. Time is precious. Yada Yada Yada.

In any event, while I continue on this journey of weight loss, I will remain hopeful. I want to find a good friend. Someone to share this with. The door is open!

Thanks for listening!


Anonymous said...

Thanks to your post on flexibility, I am recommitting to my goal weight...tracking every bite. Mixing up my food choices AND exercise. I admire you for your early morning gym sessions! I prefer brisk walking, and it has been so hot...with so many mosquitoes here in WI...getting in a walk has been an effort, but I have been out every day this past week, and I am going to go farther and faster this week. It is mind over matter, and I am going to do this!

Hang in there!

Laura said...

Sheryl, so many of the sentiment you have expressed have gone through my own mind. I agree that it is really hard to find a really good friend when you move to another environment. That is the part I miss the most about moving out here. Thanks for expressing my thoughts too.