Tuesday, December 18, 2007


Breathing is such a good thing - never underestimate it.

I know that I've taken it for granted in the past - but never again. My surgery was a huge success. I was in and then out of the hospital. Surgery was at 10:30 and then I was home by 3 o'clock. Nice. I have just a slight sore throat and that's it. I cannot feel the stent at all. My breathing is normal - quiet and effortless. I do not get out of breath climbing the stairs to my apartment.

Life is good.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Monday's The Day

Well, tomorrow is the day for my surgery. They are going to dilate my throat and put in a stent if everything goes according to plans. The last time I had this procedure done (minus the stent) was in August and there were slight complications after the surgery which made me stay overnight. There was some kind of reaction to something that still remains unnamed. And this time, I am going to end up with a "foreign object" in my trachea. That all being said, there is a part of me that is a bit apprehensive. I'm a little burned out on being put to sleep. I also am wondering what that stent is going to feel like. The doctor told me that for awhile, until I got used to it, I would be clearing my throat a lot because it would feel like there is something in my throat. (Wait a minute.....there WILL BE something in my throat) I am working hard at psyching myself up to be prepared for this when I wake up. I don't want to bolt out of the bed screaming at the top of my lungs begging for them to yank it out. That is not cool. Nor grown up. Nor appreciated by any of the medical staff I'm sure. So, as I always do - I try to work this out so that my own efforts will sustain me. Its my style. I can handle it. I can do it myself.

God gave me a verse this week that has changed my thinking. Psalm 44:4-6
"You are my King and my God, who decrees victories for Jacob. Through you we push back our enemies; through your name we trample our foes. I do not trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory, but you give us victory over our enemies, you put our adversaries to shame.

Most often, my adversary is myself. My adversary is my pridefulness in thinking that I can do it myself. But - I do not trust in my bow and my sword does not bring me victory. The anxiety I'm feeling and the fear of what it will feel like can be conquered by strength from God alone. That isn't to say that it is going to feel great - but I will be able to handle it because I will be relying on God and not myself.

The next time you hear me talk, I will have breath. The next time I'm in church, I will sing. The next time I walk up a flight of stairs, I will not wheeze.

Thank you my Father.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

White Christmas - Now I'm ready

Last night, Irving Berlin's White Christmas was on TV. It is such a feel-good movie - and such a holiday classic. It made me feel warm and fuzzy and now, I am definitely ready for Christmas!

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Three months later......

These two photos are the "before" shots - I think the day before surgery.

These two photos were taken today, about 3 months after surgery.

Its funny - I really don't see the difference. Seriously.

I know that there is a difference because I've lost 50# and I've gone from a size 3X top to an XL and from size 26 pants to a size 16. So there is a difference. But by looking at these photos, I don't see it. That's just funny to me.

I feel so much better (and when I can breathe, I will feel a LOT better). My knee doesn't bother me any more and I just feel more energetic.

Its crazy. The funny part is that as it turns out, I didn't need this surgery at all for my breathing. I guess I just get the bonus benefits. Blood pressure is great etc.

I wonder if when I look at photos of me in another three months if I'll see a difference?

Thursday, December 6, 2007

A little Thursday Talk

Could this be little baby Braylon when he was just 2 months old? Yes... it sure could be!

I don't have all that much to say today - So why am I blogging you ask? Because I know that when I visit somebody elses blog, I am always so excited when I see something new. I don't care if its really important stuff, a picture or two, or just an update. I like it. I looked at my blog and saw that it had been well over a week since I'd written anything - and so here I am.

I don't happen to have any really important stuff to share. About as important as it gets is saying that it finally snowed yesterday. We got about 2" and you'd think by the way this city reacts that we got 10". They go crazy here. They truly do. Things are cancelled all over the place and people drive like grandmas. Amazing.

When I went out to scrape my car this morning, my windshield wiper was off of its handle. There was snow to scrape off etc. so by the time I got to the task of putting it back on, my fingers were frozen and I couldn't get it on. There wasn't a soul in sight in the parking lot and I was frustrated. I couldn't drive without a blade because when people drive in front of you, they kick up spray on your windshield. I started to pull out, and there was a guy scraping off his car. I rolled down my window and asked him if he thought he could help. He said that he'd try - and sure enough, he could. I was so thankful!

Now - of course there's my breathing. I am still breathing. That's the good news. The other good news is that I just now heard from the doctor's office and they got an authorization for my surgery. I will find out tomorrow morning when it is scheduled. I am ready.

The great part - in two weeks I'll be in KANSAS with my kids and with Braylon John! I absolutely cannot wait to see them and to spend Christmas with them!