Monday, July 9, 2007


Its happened again. My surgery has been postponed now. Not cancelled - just not re-scheduled yet. There is one little word that is bothering the insurance company and until I can figure out how to either "get around" what they are asking or get something to them that they want, I'm on hold. We decided not to reschedule until we heard the official word from them that it was a go. of the liquid diet again and play the waiting game. I'm sure my body must be pretty confused as to what I want.

From the very beginning, I've given this surgery to God. Its all under His control and I know that His timing is perfect. He is in charge and it is because of Him that the insurance company has even said that they'd pay for it. So, I'm not really impatient. I admit that I'm disappointed in the postponement again - but I know that there must be a reason why this is happening in the time frame that it is. I trust God to take care of every little detail.

This brings me to the most fabulous thing that happened to me this weekend. My friend Rebecca and I had brunch together Saturday morning. We had breakfast at 10:00 at IHOP. I could have breakfast. I had about a pot of coffee because we talked until 1:00 that afternoon. We had so many things to talk about! One of the things I wanted to talk over with her was something that I'd recently read. I got a book written by an RN who had gastric bypass surgery. She stated that 85% of overweight people had suffered some kind of abuse or neglect as a child. That's quite an astounding percentage. It made me do some thinking. I wasn't ever abused - but my mom and dad emotionally neglected me. I can't really say that they "loved" me the way I love my children. My dad worked all the time, came home, ate supper, read the paper and went to bed. I really don't remember hugs. I do remember being spanked all the way home from the playground one time. I do remember spankings. I don't remember hugs. Through some Christian counseling, I have been able to understand that my mother and father did the best that they could - considering that probably their childhoods were much like what I was experiencing. But - I had never truly let go of those feelings of being lonely - the feelings that I had to feed myself to make up for the love I wasn't getting. I really had put some thought into this the past few days and when I shared it with Rebecca, I told her that I wasn't quite sure I knew how to let it go. I knew that I couldn't do it myself - and that God had to be a part of it. She suggested annointing. I knew that our church did annointing with oil for healing - but I wasn't sure what it was all about. I went home and read in the bible all I could. One passage stood out for me. James 5:14 "Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord."

I had to look up annoint and what it meant to me and what it could mean in regard to letting go the reason I ate when I was lonely. Here's what I found. It is an aid to faith - an outward sign of the healing to be brought about by God in response to prayer offered in faith.

That night I prayed. I prayed that God would help me to let go of those feelings and that Satan would not have a hold over me in eating when I was lonely. I prayed that God would give me the appropriate time and place for the annointing of oil.

That next morning in Sunday School, our teacher brought out her oil to annoint someone in our class for healing. But the time didn't seem right. I knew that I would just know. I knew that God would tell me.

After the sermon, in which God revealed to me quite clearly that God never wanted any of us to feel lonely, I knew that the time was right. I talked to my friend Pastor Chell and asked her to annoint me with oil. I gathered some of my sisters in Christ: Rebecca, Debbie and Pastor Karen. They all gathered around me and Chell annointed me with oil and prayed for me. They all prayed. We all cried tears of joy - I was so overwhelmed and so blessed! God was near us and God surrounded us with such a presence. My sisters and I just beamed!

I can't explain it - but I know that it no longer has a hold on me. I'm not saying I won't ever overeat, but I am saying it won't be from feeding myself from loneliness and it my childhood feelings no longer have a hold on me. I've given it to God. He has taken it from me - and all of this - the journey with my sisters - was one more step I had to take before my surgery. God indeed has a plan.

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