Sunday, September 12, 2010

OK - so here's my thought process

I've been giving this a lot of thought - the place where I'm at in my head with regard to my eating pattern. I'm not proud to admit that I'm pretty self centered  as well as wanting to be in control of things. Herein lies the problem. I have wanted to control how my week will be played out to the tune of not the Weight Watchers plan but a "Sheryl modified" Weight Watchers plan. Not only is this not smart, but it doesn't work.

I thought that I could make the plan work with my personal modifications. Well, my modifications included eating whatever I wanted certain times of the day during the weekend. Translated - not following the plan 100% of the time. I was told I needed to be flexible, but I took it much further than that. Much further.

I have always balked at authority. Not sure how that happened, but I rebelled against my mom and some teachers. I balked at some bosses sometimes and I always drive about 5 miles above the speed limit. I think I must think that my idea of the rules are somehow better.

So, the bottom line is this. Do I want to lose weight or don't I?

I do. I very much want to lose weight and be healthy and feel better.

Do I believe in Weight Watchers?  Yes I do.

Is it currently working by adding in my own "rules"?

Nope.

So I've spent the weekend at friends in Virginia. I did not prepare ahead of time so the snacks in the car were not healthy and not in the program. I ate things I shouldn't have. But I did write everything down as my leader suggested. It doesn't look pretty and it's not going to be fun to share with her - but I did as she suggested.

I am going to stay with the program and more importantly, I am going to think and prepare ahead of time. I am going to be ready when I go to book club tomorrow night. I am going to bring some water to drink instead of wine that is offered. I am not going to eat snacks. One day at a time here. One day at a time.

I am also going to exercise tomorrow morning. Every little positive thing is good. I have no idea what Thursday's weigh in is going to show. I may end up crying again but I know I have to conquer this and literally, this is all data input for success.

p.s. To anonymous - I appreciate your comments so much and am glad that you are having some success with those final #'s.

Pictures of Lighthouses