Seeking Direction and Discipline

So - I haven't blogged for quite some time now - and for good reason(s).

First of all, I haven't really had much to say in the way of positive things. Now from the onset, my goal was to talk about my progress with Weight Watchers and how my weight loss was going. And for the most part, I'm still in that process. Just that process does not always equal progress.

Second of all, it's hard for me to admit that I'm not disciplined. Not a big surprise to anyone - but in many areas of my life, I lack discipline.

I'm good at keeping my house clean. You can get both cars into our garage because it is neat and orderly. I wash sheets and towels on a regular basis. I pay bills on time. I remember meetings, I get up on time, I get my work done at the clinic..................and so it goes.

So with all that said, why isn't my Weight Watcher lifestyle disciplined. It is not rocket science and it doesn't take time, short of planning out my meals for the day and writing things down. Hardly worthy of an excuse of "not enough time".

Why? Lack of discipline in that area - and I wonder if it is lack of direction. I know that it is the best thing for my life and my health especially. I will feel better, by far. I will be happier with myself and who knows - I might be an encouragement to others. As it is, it's just a front. I say I am doing Weight Watchers, but in reality, I only have the books and the food journal on my kitchen counter.

I start out well in the mornings. I write down what I'm going to have for breakfast and eat the prescribed items. I sometimes even will write out the entire day. I take my perfect little lunch with me and even take some healthy snacks. But that's where it ends. By the time I leave the clinic to head home, it all comes to a screeching halt. If I stop for groceries, you can bet that there is a special treat for me waiting in the sack. When I get home, I eat said treat or find something else to "snack" on. Even though I don't have dangerous foods in the house ( which, I might add, I usually do anyway) I will go ahead and eat large quantities of good stuff!

So where/when does this cycle end? 

Not sure..............looking for direction. Searching for that illusive discipline.