Thursday, January 10, 2008

Brain Update

You know what? I think that my brain is still functioning! That's a great sign of progress! I worked four hours on Monday and four hours on Tuesday. When I got to work on Monday morning, the first thing I had to work on was a United Way Application. I downloaded an Adobe file and they of course don't let you make changes unless you have specific software. I was clicking away trying to make changes and got so frustrated that by the time my boss got in to work, I was sitting at my computer crying. Poor guy. He asked what was wrong (He had been brief by Jay ahead of time that I might be a little "slow") and I told him. He reminded me that adobe files can't be changed and that it wasn't my brain but rather the program that I was working with.

I worked too many hours today - but I do feel good about it. I'm pretty much back in the swing of things - I can drive now again and I'm able to do pretty much everything I could do before. I'm finally out of my drug haze!

I did talk to Josh and we compared notes. He remembers very specifically being frustrated trying to carry on a conversation with people who would visit and finally just wanting to fall asleep because it was so hard to stay focused. I reminded him that his attention span was short and in fact, I have re-read a lot of the journal entries that were made in Caring Bridge and that was one fact that was brought up several times. He remembers that and remembers that it was hard to concentrate on much of anything for a long period of time.

We went to Wednesday night services last night at church. He asked if anybody had anything to share. I stood and told everyone that it was the most amazing thing to me how God just cares for us, even when we don't know that we are being cared for. He put the right doctors in front of me when I needed them and had them place me in the right state of "being" to keep me safe. He cared for Jay when he was afraid for me. He kept me peaceful when I could have been shaken. He knitted me back together and healed me from the inside out. Even though its been a long process - I've been cared for by my Maker.

Remember when I said that I missed out on Christmas? I didn't. My Lord and Savior was there for me on Christmas morning - the birth of baby Jesus was for me. I was being loved and healed on Christmas morning. I didn't miss out on one single thing.

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